Rhetorical

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Why should I hold my desires at bay

continue to conceal them for another day

Should I push aside what others deem wrong

does this somehow make me appear to be strong

What if I decide to let go, to be weak

if I should drop down to my knees

If I were to crawl to you, begging  for more

tell me, could you give what I’m asking for

Rhetorical questions, yes, I know my dear

I simply write them out, so my head is clear

A Strange Encounter

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Yes, of course you may have that seat

No, there is nobody here with me

My Goodness what beautiful eyes of blue

You look like someone I could lie to

Come here often? No, it’s my first time

Oh, an Aries, that’s my favorite sign

A drink? Please, I’ll have what your drinking

Music? Indeed, I like how your thinking

Dance? No, I don’t very much

But I’m tipsy, perhaps you can hold me up

A kiss? Well, maybe a peck on the cheek

I’m a lady, I don’t want to appear cheap

Leave with you? I never go home with strange boys

Come back to my place, that’s where I keep my toys

 

You Can’t Do That In A Coffee Shop

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As he sat just arm’s length from her
Her eyes touched every inch of his body
Repeatedly
Then they ran over his body again
She wanted to run her hands over him instead
But you can’t do that in a coffee shop
He was saying something to her
But his words fell into the space between them
She was watching his lips move
Memorizing his smile
She wanted to kiss his teeth and suck in his tongue
Again,
You can’t do that in a coffee shop
Wait a minute
She wanted to remember what he just said
Please repeat that
Please smile again
There it is, etched in her memory
His smile, the glint in his eyes
She takes in his whole presence
She likes the way he is a bit nervous but remains in control
How he pulls back just a little
Yet leans in close
She watches his hands hold the coffee cup
Wishing she could be, said cup
She is jealous of the way his fingers run over it
Holding it lightly yet firm
She wants him to hold her
Maybe you can do that in a coffee shop….
She moves a little closer
Reaches and touches his arm
It was involuntary, she couldn’t help it, she had too
Touching him was no longer an option
It was a need
Like breathing
You can do that in a coffee shop
Oh My, she thought
We have got to get out of this coffee shop

Whisper

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sitting alone in the quiet of my room

I suddenly feel the impending doom

the darkness was washed quick, fast over me

my chest is heavy, I cannot breathe

I reach, but you are not there

in my hand I find nothing but air

I close my eyes giving in to the pain

in the stillness I hear you whisper my name

you tell me to rest, pull me into your arms

soundly I sleep, safe from all harm

Perfectly Unclear

I am so bewildered my thoughts are perfectly clear.

Please go away because I need you near.

Don’t touch me while you are holding my hand.

Listen, while I explain what I don’t understand.

You’ll find only truth, in all of my lies.

As I smile at you, from behind crying eyes.

These tears you see running down my dry cheeks,

only prove to deepen, my shallow insecurities.

Please know, I’m just a simple complicated woman,

dying in this life, the only way that I can.

Holding on tightly as I let it all go,

one day at a time, for weeks in a row.

Finding myself, waving hello to the final goodbye.

My feet firmly grounded, my eyes on the sky.

The Haunting of Me

I am awakened, with a sudden jolt
goosebumps, from head to toe
outside thunder and lightning bolts

Drowning in my own sweat
I shiver, I shake
in the uncomfortable mixture of hot, cold wet

The darkness is so bright
it burns my eyes
blinding me, in the dead of this night

The silence is deafening
in the quiet, my mind screams
I hear a faint, coarse breathing

“Who is it, who is here?”
“Guess who?” is the evil reply
as I am suddenly filled with fear

Frozen, unable to move
griped by fright compounded over time
I stare into the nothingness of the room

“How did you get here, where are you from?”
his laugh grows stronger now
“Please women, don’t play dumb!”

“You left the door open, you invited me in
you cried in the night
you begged for this sin”

The evil and the hissing continue on
as I lay listening
to my condemnation song

Finally he saunters
to the side of my bed
lays his grotesque hands upon my head

He whispers, softly into my ear
sleep now child
and awake with renewed fear

For I will visit you again each night
playing in the shadows of your mind
sleep now child, sleep tight, sleep tight

Her Drug Of Choice

He was a dangerous man
and she knew it,
she could tell
from his first hello.
It was in his
cool confidence,
and the way he never
accepted no.
She,
became addicted to him.
His words were the drug
that pulled her in.
She was fragile and weak
and needed a fix.
He saw
through her transparency,
answered via poetic injection
a euphoric piercing prick.
She felt his words
seep warm into her veins;
she knew she would never be the same.
Reading,
writing,
just to breathe.
She now had this beautiful addiction to feed.
He,
was her dealer,
offering his drug by keystroke.
She,
paid massive amounts
for each line,
inhaling it
like a deep toke.
Whoring herself for the very next word,
she was addicted,
crawling back again, reluctantly,
regardless of how it hurt.
He shot her up,
he gave her her fill.
She took it all in,
quickly overdosed on the thrill.
He left her alone and abandon,
empty needle on the floor.
He was a dangerous man,
she knew it,
from the moment
he said hello.

The Show Must Go On

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The curtain is lifted
she must play her part
she steps on the stage
sets aside her heart

The leading man leans in
for his kiss on the cheek
the script says
her knees go weak

She is the actress
she knows what to do
she flirts and swoons
right on cue

Her leading man
with cold hard eyes
has carefully rehearsed
all of his lies

The scene plays out
without a flaw
acting perfection
she will not fall

The audience adores
with oohs and ahhs
she turns and smiles
at the gleeful applause

The show must go on
just smile and wave
the curtain never goes down
for she gave her life away

All I can do is Pray

Everyday I look at my news feed
I read what it says, and my heart bleeds

I look around and see people in need
hands reaching out, mouths to feed

Illness spreading in the blink of an eye
I sit and think “how small am I?”

If I had the means, if I had the time
would it make a difference
could I save a life?

Fighting and riots at my own backdoor
I don’t really understand
what the fighting is for

I don’t understand how violence can be an answer
I just know that hate
spreads like cancer

I wonder if I were stronger
if I had a voice to speak
would anyone even listen to me

But then, I wonder
what would I even say

Lord please help us
All I can do is Pray

How I want to feel on you

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I want to be
your waking thought in the morning
the smile
that leaves your lips as you drift to sleep

I want to be the reason you stop talking
and just stare
and when you can’t breathe,
I want to be that gasp of air

I want to be the word
that you stumble upon
when you are trying to say things right
but they somehow come out wrong

When you think someone is watching
but you cannot see them there
that is just my presence
lingering on the air

I want to be your goosebumps
when you get a chill
I want to make your hair stand up
when you feel a thrill

When the breeze brushes over you
and whispers in your ear
I want my name to be
the only one you will hear

I want to be the raindrops
falling from above
flooding over your body
with my love

of losing you

I thought a year of mourning
would somehow lessen the blow
but it hasn’t

and I know

Everything I’ve tried
and everything I do
will never
take away the pain

of losing you

I thought if I ignored it
if I wished it all away
I would somehow be immune
from the pain

of coming days

I thought If I hid away
locked inside
my own self
cut off communication
didn’t talk

with anyone else

If I stayed away from places
where we used to hang
I thought naively

I would be okay

Now it’s been a year
that feels like yesterday
I stumble over words
whose meanings

slip away…

This Anger

I keep my hand on this mouse
scrolling through
so that I don’t

So that I don’t
punch you

I keep eyes glued
to this stupid blue screen
so that I don’t

So that I don’t
fucking scream

I keep pounding away
on these innocent keys
so that I don’t

So that I don’t
make you bleed

I’ve tried yoga
meditation
and breathing routines

I’ve tried music
the drinking
and drugging
scene

But Lord you know
these people
just get under my skin

Before I know it
this anger has gotten
the best of me

Again

 

Conversing with The Night

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Well Hello Darling
she said,
in a voice she used just for him
It’s been a while,
I’m not sure exactly where to begin

The beginning,
he reminded her
seems the logical place to start
Annoyed with him, as usual
she told him to shut his mouth

I will do the talking
you may listen,
if you must
I’ll expect no comments
no cheering
nor other ludicrous stuff

And so it went
He sat in silence subdued
as she babbled on relentlessly
until the silence claimed
her too

All at once exhausted
she slept in humble repose
He covered her with warmth
then slipped away
within the shadows

He’ll be back tomorrow
and the very next tomorrow to come
He’ll be back
every tomorrow
between the setting
and rising of the sun

July 15, 2016

Once upon a time I thought my words could change the world, or, at the very least be meaningful.

I have found rather, The world, has changed my words.

Now days, I struggle to find meaning in most things, including my own words.

As a another poet recently said “Maybe it’s all crap.”

It’s been great sharing the crap with all of you!
May the world never change Your words.
Stay safe out there, it’s crazy.

XO
BB

 

Today, is a Good Day

One day you once again feel the wind blowing through your hair

One day you find yourself listening to the old songs without crying

One day you catch yourself dancing, smile, and then happily dance some more

One day an old “friend” messages and your heart doesn’t flip or flutter
you exchange honest pleasantries and go on with your day

One day you wake up fully rested, from a good night’s sleep

One day you decide being angry is a waste of your energy
you let the little things roll off your back, and you give attention to the big things

One day you realize YOU get to decide the little things versus the big things

One day you, when you have exhausted every other avenue, come to the conclusion to live while you are still alive

One day you take control of your life

One day, you will once again say, “Today is a good day”

Stolen Moments

Your kiss still lingers

as if it were brand new

My lips still tingle

when I think of you

My  body remembers

the feel of you against me

Stolen moments fading

between dreams and reality

Close tight my eyes

time and space erased

Holding my breath

I’m back in your embrace

Clouded Memories & Goodbyes

he said, I miss you

admittedly she missed him too

but she wasn’t willing to open old wounds

he asked how’s she’s been

she wanted to break down and tell him

instead she cut the conversation short

after this long she felt no need to report

how the days turned to weeks, months, then years

how she’d cried until there were no more tears

she felt it best to leave the past where it lie

in clouded memories and goodbyes

I’ve Forgotten

Digging through the vault…… I’d forgot this poem existed…

The Migraine Chronicles

Forgotten

Forgive me please

forgive me Boy

I have forgotten the feeling

you gave to me

I have forgotten the way

you made my blood boil

the way you made me smile

I have forgotten

how you touched my hand

and looked into my eyes

the way you always knew

the pain behind my lies

I have forgotten how

to dance without a song

forgotten conversations

into the night so long

I have forgotten

how to giggle and laugh

and the worst confession

that I have

Boy, I have forgotten

how to play

you know that is hard for me to say

please forgive me

please don’t be mad

I have forgotten

and I feel so bad

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Will You Remember Me

Will You??

The Migraine Chronicles

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Will you remember me
when the green is gone from the trees
when the light is gone
from my eyes

when sexy no longer
hangs on my sighs
will you remember me
when I have nothing more to say

when my hair
is a lighter shade of grey
when my mind is on repeat
will you still remember me

when my words don’t flow so smooth
will your love still be true
will my name hang on your lips
when I no longer swing my hips

when the thunder clasps
and the lightning strikes
will I cross your mind
will you still remember me

and think of me lovingly

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A Thousand Times

Yes, only in my mind.

The Migraine Chronicles

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A thousand times I tell him goodbye.

In my mind.

Who am I kidding?

He runs through my veins.

If I cut myself open and bled dry,

he would still be with me.

He is my air.

My lungs labor for breaths

when he is not near to filter my pollutants.

He is my Superhero.

Saving me from myself.

The wicked, belittling bitch that I am.

He is my Sunshine.

Warming me, and

shining brightly unto my dullest days.

He is both the loudest

and softest voice in my head.

He keeps me from

going crazy,

yet, is my truest insanity.

And a thousand times

I tell him goodbye.

But only in my mind,

yes, only in my mind.

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Silent Reflection

It hit on the drive home
quite unexpectedly
The enormity of the world
in comparison to you and me

This overwhelming warmth
deep within my  heart
Feeling so close to you
while logistically so far apart

How is it that two people
strangers of place and time
should be lucky to meet each other
through this rhythm and rhyme

How do two hearts connect
with all this interference
in this cold, cold, world
with all this indifference

I catch my breath
my heart skips a beat
silently I reflect
on the meaning of you and me

Return to Neverland

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And so I wait patiently

for I know he will return to me

I snuggle in and close my eyes

I keep my window open wide

Under my pillow I keep a kiss

for my own lost boy, whom I so miss

Hoping his shadow finds a way to my room

I find myself in dreamland soon

“Are those happy thoughts” he wants to know

I nod, so he says “then away we go”

Second star to the right, straight on ’til morning

come fly with me, my Darling

Fly with me to Neverland

where dreams are born, and time is never planned

 

Pixie Dust

dear Peter

I miss the magic

I let it slip away

I grew up

while you continued to play

I miss the magic

I just let it go

the age on my face

yes, it’s starting to show

I miss the magic

between us

you’ll be forever Peter Pan

while I’m still searching for Pixie Dust

One Way Street (a duet with BruisedBelly)

I have always admired Devonne’s writing, art, and musical posts. She has no trouble saying what is on her mind, whether that be calling someone out on their shit, or crying out to a friend in need. Her fearlessness is what first drew my attention, what has kept me coming back time and again, and the reason I knew we would be a great duet team. If you don’t already know her site, please take the time to explore. She is brilliant, and I love her.

She Knows Him By Heart

The poem remains the same.

The Migraine Chronicles

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She knows him by heart
she has from the start

sure, her eyes have memorized
the curves of his face
and her ears hear
his voice on replay

her body remembers
the warmth of his touch
and her arms miss him
so very much

but it’s her heart
that fills in all the places
in between

the ones that
will never be seen

it’s her heart that knows
his every breath
that reaches for him
while still pulling back

it’s her heart that knows
he’s been here all along
he may be away
but he never is gone

she knows him by heart
both his and hers
it may sound silly
but it’s just how this works

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As The World Turns

“Hello” I say into the phone, not bothering to look at caller ID.

“E-mail sucks” he almost groans.  I smile, he’s correct, I haven’t heard from him in hours.  I was getting nervous, to be honest.

I tell him as much, we chat and laugh and smile.  We are busy, we cannot stay on the phone long.  His world, my world; going one hundred miles a minute parallel to each other, intersecting on rare wonderful occasions.  The moments we live for.

I’m back to my coffee and patients, he’s back to his reports.  The world keeps turning, paying no mind to shit e-mail or moon crossed lovers who can’t go a few hours without conversation.  The world keeps mourning celebrities, abusing their own children and pampering their pets.  The world keeps advancing and falling apart at equal speed.

And me, I just want coffee, I want time with him alone, away from this world, in Neverland or on the moon, either will do.  I’m also open to other suggestions.

 

 

Wonderful Hurt

She loves him more than she knows she probably should

She couldn’t stop now, and she wouldn’t even if she could

Sure, at times the pain cuts deep and draws blood

A price she willingly pays for this love

When it hurts, it’s in the most wonderful way

Her smile starts small, then consumes her face

She prays she hurts this way for eternity

Sometimes you need the pain to be happy

 

 

A Love Story ~ In The Beginning

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In the beginning

She was apprehensive, almost standoffish.  I guess he didn’t notice or didn’t care.  He had his very own agenda which had not one single thing to do with her.  Their bad attitudes just happened to collide.

In the beginning

She thought him to be ignorant, but not in the way that one is not intelligent, she knew he was intelligent.  In the way that one is new to something.  Which he was.  He was new to this world which she was so completely consumed within.  She was both bothered and endeared with his newness.  The endearment stuck.

In the beginning

She tried every one of her tricks to push him away.  He either didn’t notice or didn’t seem to care.  Her heart skipped a beat each and every time he returned.  He seemed to both notice and care because he never stayed gone for very long. This delighted her very much.  An emotion she wasn’t much accustomed to.

In the beginning

She knew they were in big trouble.