She Hates Him

She hates him

The way a dog hates table scraps

The way a cat hates belly rubs

She hates him

She hates his every “good morning”, and his every “goodnight”
She hates the way he questions why good morning is two words and goodnight is one word

She hates how he asks about her day, every single day
How he wants to know something, good, exciting, bad or even sad – how he just wants to know

She hates the way he bosses her – telling her to be careful and safe driving home

She hates that he knows her moods without her saying a word (she hates that the most)

She hates him, like she hates to dream and fly

She hate him, but she never wants to say goodbye

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Tick – Tock

the seconds, minutes, hours
turning to days
as the clock continues
to tick away

another week, month
another year
in the mirror
another wrinkle appears

applying make-up
that feels more like spackle
why do I bother
does it even matter

take a deep breath in……
then breathe out
relax for one second – then
continue about

your petty little life
in this great big world
does any of it matter
do you think any of it could

the clock just ticks away
time just marches on
you breathe in
breathe out
you’re dead and gone

A Love Story ~ The Waiting

I’ll wait for you, she says; as he boards another plane, takes another trip, goes for another ride, lays his head down for the night.  I’ll wait for you, she reminds him.  She smiles as she does.  She used to hate to wait, but she does so out of love.

He is a mover, always on the go.  She admittedly moves much more slow.  He is gone now, away again.  Another trip, someplace beautiful.  She is waiting, waking, working, writing, sleeping, breathing, and waiting some more.  She sits for hours sometimes, waiting for a bleep of the phone.

How long she’ll wait, she cannot say.  She may wait forever, or she may wait one more day.  Either way, and however it may go, she will wait as long as her heart tells her so. Right now she is waiting, for a kiss goodnight.  She is waiting for a “let’s snuggle in tight”.   She is waiting for dreams to carry her away, so she can start the waiting over again, tomorrow day.

 

She Got the House

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She got the house
though she didn’t want it
the tall grass
and the leaky facets

She got the house
the mortgage that came with it
the peeling paint
and everything that needed fixing

She got the house
with all the memories inside
holding her prisoner
to a past tense life

She got the house
and those precious mouths to feed
He walked away
clear and free

She got the house
they told her she’d won
but to have her family whole
she’d burn it to the ground

of losing you

I thought a year of mourning
would somehow lessen the blow
but it hasn’t

and I know

Everything I’ve tried
and everything I do
will never
take away the pain

of losing you

I thought if I ignored it
if I wished it all away
I would somehow be immune
from the pain

of coming days

I thought If I hid away
locked inside
my own self
cut off communication
didn’t talk

with anyone else

If I stayed away from places
where we used to hang
I thought naively

I would be okay

Now it’s been a year
that feels like yesterday
I stumble over words
whose meanings

slip away…

This Anger

I keep my hand on this mouse
scrolling through
so that I don’t

So that I don’t
punch you

I keep eyes glued
to this stupid blue screen
so that I don’t

So that I don’t
fucking scream

I keep pounding away
on these innocent keys
so that I don’t

So that I don’t
make you bleed

I’ve tried yoga
meditation
and breathing routines

I’ve tried music
the drinking
and drugging
scene

But Lord you know
these people
just get under my skin

Before I know it
this anger has gotten
the best of me

Again

 

Conversing with The Night

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Well Hello Darling
she said,
in a voice she used just for him
It’s been a while,
I’m not sure exactly where to begin

The beginning,
he reminded her
seems the logical place to start
Annoyed with him, as usual
she told him to shut his mouth

I will do the talking
you may listen,
if you must
I’ll expect no comments
no cheering
nor other ludicrous stuff

And so it went
He sat in silence subdued
as she babbled on relentlessly
until the silence claimed
her too

All at once exhausted
she slept in humble repose
He covered her with warmth
then slipped away
within the shadows

He’ll be back tomorrow
and the very next tomorrow to come
He’ll be back
every tomorrow
between the setting
and rising of the sun

July 15, 2016

Once upon a time I thought my words could change the world, or, at the very least be meaningful.

I have found rather, The world, has changed my words.

Now days, I struggle to find meaning in most things, including my own words.

As a another poet recently said “Maybe it’s all crap.”

It’s been great sharing the crap with all of you!
May the world never change Your words.
Stay safe out there, it’s crazy.

XO
BB

 

Today, is a Good Day

One day you once again feel the wind blowing through your hair

One day you find yourself listening to the old songs without crying

One day you catch yourself dancing, smile, and then happily dance some more

One day an old “friend” messages and your heart doesn’t flip or flutter
you exchange honest pleasantries and go on with your day

One day you wake up fully rested, from a good night’s sleep

One day you decide being angry is a waste of your energy
you let the little things roll off your back, and you give attention to the big things

One day you realize YOU get to decide the little things versus the big things

One day you, when you have exhausted every other avenue, come to the conclusion to live while you are still alive

One day you take control of your life

One day, you will once again say, “Today is a good day”

Stolen Moments

Your kiss still lingers

as if it were brand new

My lips still tingle

when I think of you

My  body remembers

the feel of you against me

Stolen moments fading

between dreams and reality

Close tight my eyes

time and space erased

Holding my breath

I’m back in your embrace

Clouded Memories & Goodbyes

he said, I miss you

admittedly she missed him too

but she wasn’t willing to open old wounds

he asked how’s she’s been

she wanted to break down and tell him

instead she cut the conversation short

after this long she felt no need to report

how the days turned to weeks, months, then years

how she’d cried until there were no more tears

she felt it best to leave the past where it lie

in clouded memories and goodbyes

I’ve Forgotten

Digging through the vault…… I’d forgot this poem existed…

The Migraine Chronicles

Forgotten

Forgive me please

forgive me Boy

I have forgotten the feeling

you gave to me

I have forgotten the way

you made my blood boil

the way you made me smile

I have forgotten

how you touched my hand

and looked into my eyes

the way you always knew

the pain behind my lies

I have forgotten how

to dance without a song

forgotten conversations

into the night so long

I have forgotten

how to giggle and laugh

and the worst confession

that I have

Boy, I have forgotten

how to play

you know that is hard for me to say

please forgive me

please don’t be mad

I have forgotten

and I feel so bad

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Will You Remember Me

Will You??

The Migraine Chronicles

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Will you remember me
when the green is gone from the trees
when the light is gone
from my eyes

when sexy no longer
hangs on my sighs
will you remember me
when I have nothing more to say

when my hair
is a lighter shade of grey
when my mind is on repeat
will you still remember me

when my words don’t flow so smooth
will your love still be true
will my name hang on your lips
when I no longer swing my hips

when the thunder clasps
and the lightning strikes
will I cross your mind
will you still remember me

and think of me lovingly

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A Thousand Times

Yes, only in my mind.

The Migraine Chronicles

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A thousand times I tell him goodbye.

In my mind.

Who am I kidding?

He runs through my veins.

If I cut myself open and bled dry,

he would still be with me.

He is my air.

My lungs labor for breaths

when he is not near to filter my pollutants.

He is my Superhero.

Saving me from myself.

The wicked, belittling bitch that I am.

He is my Sunshine.

Warming me, and

shining brightly unto my dullest days.

He is both the loudest

and softest voice in my head.

He keeps me from

going crazy,

yet, is my truest insanity.

And a thousand times

I tell him goodbye.

But only in my mind,

yes, only in my mind.

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Silent Reflection

It hit on the drive home
quite unexpectedly
The enormity of the world
in comparison to you and me

This overwhelming warmth
deep within my  heart
Feeling so close to you
while logistically so far apart

How is it that two people
strangers of place and time
should be lucky to meet each other
through this rhythm and rhyme

How do two hearts connect
with all this interference
in this cold, cold, world
with all this indifference

I catch my breath
my heart skips a beat
silently I reflect
on the meaning of you and me

Return to Neverland

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And so I wait patiently

for I know he will return to me

I snuggle in and close my eyes

I keep my window open wide

Under my pillow I keep a kiss

for my own lost boy, whom I so miss

Hoping his shadow finds a way to my room

I find myself in dreamland soon

“Are those happy thoughts” he wants to know

I nod, so he says “then away we go”

Second star to the right, straight on ’til morning

come fly with me, my Darling

Fly with me to Neverland

where dreams are born, and time is never planned

 

Pixie Dust

dear Peter

I miss the magic

I let it slip away

I grew up

while you continued to play

I miss the magic

I just let it go

the age on my face

yes, it’s starting to show

I miss the magic

between us

you’ll be forever Peter Pan

while I’m still searching for Pixie Dust

One Way Street (a duet with BruisedBelly)

I have always admired Devonne’s writing, art, and musical posts. She has no trouble saying what is on her mind, whether that be calling someone out on their shit, or crying out to a friend in need. Her fearlessness is what first drew my attention, what has kept me coming back time and again, and the reason I knew we would be a great duet team. If you don’t already know her site, please take the time to explore. She is brilliant, and I love her.